Compliments

Last night, I begged, pleaded and bribed Mass Buddy to go to a college Mass with me as a favor to the priest who runs the CNC there.  Earlier in the day, I had gone out to Mass in the middle of nowhere and saw some chocolate covered expresso beans that were multicolored.  I thought Mass Buddy would like them so I got him some.  I also got him Sen-Sen, the most disgusting gum ever.  I could go on and on about the smell and the taste but I'll spare you.  It's not so bad, only when he has more than like 3 pieces.  I digress.  He thanked me for being so thoughtful and later for being so generous.  I just was like whatever, no big deal.

At Mass, a woman told me I had a very pretty voice and I should be singing up front or cantoring.  I just kind of blinked at her and stared at Mass Buddy, who agreed with her. I think I managed to stammer out a thank you.

I was thinking of this and how I never know what to say other than to blow it off when someone pays me a compliment.  I was thinking back to a couple months ago and my boss was paying me a compliment.  I was like it's no big deal, whatever, blah blah blah.  She was like you don't know how to take a compliment do you?  I stammered and tried to apologize.  She was like you didn't get a lot of compliments growing up did you?  Uhm.  I was told I was smart a bunch.  But that was often followed by the I have no common sense line.

I've been thinking about this.  I can't remember the last compliment my parents gave me.  They've said that this was nice or it was ok.  But it always seemed a cop-out and they were just trying to save face. I could always tell they didn't mean it.

I guess I don't know what to do in the face of compliments.  I'm thinking of how I cook for Movie Buddy and he's always praising my cooking.  I have a hard time believing that he likes it so much.  He seems so sincere but I'm never sure.  It's easier when I watch him eat it and then go for seconds, if that makes any sense.  I made him coffee ice cream for Valentine's Day last year I think and he loved it so much he had it for brekkie.

I think the other problem is that I don't think it is anything special.  Of course, I should do my best no matter what I am doing...otherwise why am I doing it?  I think of the candy.  Of course I would get my bestest friend in the whole wide candy he liked if I saw it in the store and had spare monies.  Why wouldn't I?

I'm just confused by the whole thing.