Photography, Inspiration and Meh

I've always been interested in photography.  I've always thought a camera was a necessary item for living.  As a freshman in high school, I attempted to take pictures for the yearbook.  In college, when I worked at the school's observatory, I attempted to take astrophotos.  Neither of these attempts were all that successful.  I have only to blame, it's not like I did any research or practiced in any way.

 Then, in 2009, something changed.  That was also the year I met Photo Buddy.  Photo Buddy loves to talk about photography.  He's perfectly happy to be quiet too :)  Anyway, after a while I started asking Photo Buddy questions.  Although he's a big fan of the mantra "RT*M...he did answer my questions.  :)

Then I got this crazy idea to do a 365 challenge.  That blog is here.  Rather quickly, I became aware that my little point and shoot digital was not adequate.  It was great because I could put it in my pocket and take it anywhere, but Jake the basset hound, was too fast for it.  Then there was the low light problem.  In mid-2009, I started touring different churches in the St. Louis Archdiocese.  I would take pictures of the inside church and they would be meh and blurry.  (I can hear Photo Buddy right now...tripod...use a tripod...)

In June 2010, I finally caved and bought a dSLR, a Canon Rebel.  (I've wanted a Rebel since forever...).  And I began taking pictures all the time.  Then my dissertation happened.  I got too busy to take pictures everyday, let alone process them.

Now my dissertation is finished and I've graduated.  I have time to take photos and process them.  But I can't seem to pick up the camera.  I went out with Photo Buddy this past weekend and I was totally uninspired and there was lots of meh and bleh and blah going around.  This is unusual because I usually take at least 100 photos on an expedition.  This is not the first time this has happened.  We haven't gone out much yet this year but the times we have gone out, I haven't really wanted to take pictures.  It's all meh.  Yesterday there was fog, and I love fogs and I love photographing fogs but I just couldn't seem to make it work.  I felt stressed instead of happy.  See on Sunday, we found some snow crocuses and I felt so happy? content? not stressed? taking pictures of them.

All I want to do is take pictures of barren trees and snow.  I want to take pictures of desolation and isolation.  Of loneliness and disconnectedness.  and in black and white.

I wonder what is wrong.  Is it the depression?  Is it normal in terms of creativity?  Does creativity have ebb and flow?  Have I reached my peak as a photographer?  Do I need to do some more learning?  Maybe if I improve my methods/technique?  Do I need a new camera?  A new lens?

All I feel is this meh.