Friday, January 27, 2012

Passive-Agressive

I was told I was being passive-aggressive this morning and a couple days ago.  I also know Movie Buddy strongly dislikes passive-aggressive behavior.  It dawned on my I don't know exactly what that means.

So let's take a ride with google.

First up, the Straight Dope tries to explain it using the DSM-III-R (1987):
Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder exhibits these behaviors:

  1.  procrastinates, 
  2.  sulks or argues when asked to do something he doesn't want to do, 
  3.  works inefficiently on unwanted tasks, 
  4. complains without justification of unreasonable demands, 
  5. "forgets" obligations, 
  6.  believes he is doing a much better job than others think, 
  7. resents useful suggestions,
  8.  fails to do his share, or 
  9.  unreasonably criticizes authority figures.  
I'll bite on #7.  I do tend to resent useful suggestions and manage to find all sorts of reasons as to why they won't work.

On the divorce section of about.com, there is a whole long explanation.  I can buy the ambiguity, but that is the style of how we communicate in our family.  Straight answers, expectations, whatever, do not exist.

Psychology Today has an entire section on passive-aggressive behavior.

As I read these, the underlying theme seems to be tied to anger.  Well I'm not angry.  I'm sad and frustrated.  

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