Tuesday, May 8, 2012

this is all there is

I get up, go to work, come home.
I stare at the wall or stare at the computer screen.
The only difference is whether or not I cry myself to sleep.
Every so often I go over to Movie Buddy's house and watch a movie.  That's coming to an end so then it will be every weekday get up, go to work, come home and stare at the screen.
Every couple weeks I go on a trip with Adventure Buddy.  But that's coming to an end too.
Ad infinitum.

This is my life.

I loved Dead Poets Society.  I loved Walden.  I loved the ideals in them.  How did I come to be living a life so completely opposite of that.

All in all, I'm just another brick in the wall.  And I hate it with a burning passion.  And I loathe myself for letting it happen.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I used to have that same feeling about such ideals opposing mundane reality. However, I now believe that that mundane reality is the place in which the reality of God breaks through. It's infinitely precious. I don't believe you will always see your routine patterns in this way. Dare God to heal your broken heart.

Kathy