Just say no

to beer.

Photo Buddy is on a quest.  A quest to find a beer I'll drink.  He's 0 for 3 tonight.

I think he just likes watching me make faces at the horridness.

Why I get ready the night before

Tonight after work I'm going to go to a fundraiser for the pet food pantry, snag my free ice cream cone and be supportive of Photo Buddy.  I've decided given our time table that I should just bring everything to work and not go home first.

Normally I put everything together the night before.  Because I like getting up at the last possible second.  If I have to gather things then this puts my morning in chaos.  Last night I was too cranky to get my stuff together.  And it wasn't dry.  And I was having issues.

So I gathered it together this morning.  Now I remember why I don't do this in the morning anymore.  I don't know which shirt to wear.  What's the temp going to be?  I'll take them ALLLLLL!!!! bwahahahaha.

Yes.  my overpacking is worse when I'm doing it at the last minute.

Now I Just Need a Groom

Normally wedding talk causes me to run the other way. (Bridesmaids dresses in navy blue and seafoam green?  That's horrid.  I mean, oh how lovely)


I look at dresses going omg I'm going to look like a polar bear.  Jeans.  I'm wearing jeans.  and white birkenstocks.

Someone sent me a link to vintage wedding dresses.  Like from 1900.  All Victorian and Edwardian.  Think Downton Abbey.

I saw this dress! SQUEEE!!

It's so flouncy and airy...and princess warrior like.  (I'm gushing.  like a girl.  oh sweet heavens)  I'm not so sure I like the flesh underslip but I think a pale blue could work.  maybe a blue purple.  mmmm in silk. mmmmm And I bet when I dance it would twirl....and flounce.  The shawl that goes with it is a an ew though.

Now all I need is a groom....

It's the little things

I'm getting used to Jake not being here.  But it is the little things where I miss him.

I had soup the other day.  I always shared my soup with Jake.
I was about to throw something away that Jake likes to eat and was like I can't throw it in this trash can cause Jake will oh.  yea.  right.
I miss him checking on me when I'm in the bathroom.  I might escape you know.
I miss him licking me after a shower to see if I'm clean.
I don't like the yolks of hard boiled eggs.  I don't have anyone to eat them for me.  Or my dinner that's burned.

I miss him as an excuse not to clean my room.  He so hated when I did that.

I miss his face looking at me while I'm eating.  Begging for a bite.

I don't however, miss his digestion issues.

Maybe She's Right

Last night, my mom started on about how the family is cursed.  It ended up with me being called self-centered. Of course the first thing I thought was I'm not self-centered, but as the night wore on, the more I thought about it, the more I realized I am self-centered.

Jake died a little over a week ago.  Hiking Buddy lost his little hiking friend (Jake) and I really haven't asked how he was doing or anything.

Drinking Buddy had a bad day on Saturday.  Although I did manage to come out of cocoon of unhappiness, I didn't really let him talk.  Alcohol has a terrible tendency to make me not shut up.  It's worse when I feel like I haven't been able to talk so all the thoughts come spilling out.

I'm not doing much for my family.  I should be contributing more even though whatever I do doesn't seem good enough or isn't done on their timeline.  I should be taking care of my parents not the other way around.

I think about Jake and the nights I left him home so I could go out drinking or whatever.  I should have stayed home with him or taken him places we could have gone together.

Someone has been egging me onto volunteer.  Besides the logistics problems, I'm just too tired to deal with people.

The more I think about, the more I think she is right.  I am self-centered.  And then I think of that priest who implied I wasn't nice or pleasant or kind.  It's no wonder I don't have bunches of friends.

And of course the ultimate self-centeredness, it would be better for everyone if I would just pick myself by my bootstraps and stopped being so miserable and mopey and unhappy.  But I'm too selfish to do anything about it.

Photo Adventures

If you wander over to my photo blog, you can look at all the pictures I've taken in the last week.  Lots of spring flowers.  Guess which is my favorite?

Drinking Misadventures

Drinking Buddy:  I'm not having a good day.
Me:  I'm sorry.  Would a drink make it better?
Drinking Buddy:  ok.
Me:  YAY!

Me:  Where we go?
DB:  Someplace fun, outdoors, public and cheap.
Me:  Uh.  Uh.  I got nothin...
(we landed up at the pinball bar)

Me:  WOOT!!!!! Look at the score!  (imagine some one sticking out tongue)
DB:  You are just the right amount of drunk.
(oh he was so right...cause as the buzz wore off, so did my pinball skills)

DB:  Let's go someplace else
Me:  Ok.  Where?
DB:  Outside, there's places on Manchester...
Me:  BUGALOO!!!!  They have SWINGS!!!  (important detail)
DB:  sigh

RDG (Random Drunk Guy):  If some body does something wrong do you tell them or let it go?
Me:  I put it all over the Internet.
RDG:  That's passive-aggressive.
Me:  Yes.

RDG (to DB):  If someone were to insult her, would you do something?
DB:  Well it depends.  What would a reasonable person do?  *fuzzyness of my brain here*  You have to look at the root cause.  The root cause is drinking therefore he shouldn't drink.
Me:  I expect you to deck him.
DB:  quirks is eyebrow at me
(What have we learned?  DB defuses situations.  I add fuel to the fire.)




This afternoon:
Me:  Hey did I fall or run into stuff last night?
DB:  Yes.  You ran into lots of things.  Where is bruise?
Me:  On my lower back.
DB:  You were banging around on the swings.
Me:  Oh yea.
DB:  You may have stumbled a bit too.
Me:  giggle.
DB:  yes.  giggle.