I had my favorite and my least favorite dream again this morning. It is the same dream that I love and hate. I'm being held and my head is resting on his chest and his arms are around me and I'm so warm and safe. My brain is quiet. He smells a little bit like the outdoors. Every so often, he kisses the top of my head and then rests his chin on my head. It's how I know he has a head cause I never see it. This time I'm giggling and he squeezes me harder telling me to go to sleep.
I love this dream but I hate it so much. I hate it so much because it makes me seem vulnerable. I hate it because it is so girly. But most of all, I hate it because it starts to fill me with hope and I know there is no hope for me. I know no one is ever going to want to hold me like that with no strings attached. And I am all the more sad.
1 comment:
We all want to be held like that. There is nothing like it in the whole wide world.
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