with this in my head. It was accompanied by a feeling of being warm n snuggly and being hugged, so I'm not too terribly upset. But I'd like it out now.
Ur welcome.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
That pretty much sums it up
Someone on facebook had linked to a blogpost about how quick doctors and parents are to medicate. I clicked around and found this blog. I've been reading different posts and am feeling validated somewhat and slightly cheered. I'm also sad because I identify with so many of the posts.
I'm even more sad to realize that perhaps it is a good thing that it will be incredibly difficult for me to have children. Because I can see the dysfunctional behavior patterns in me and have not had great success in stopping them. Better not to have children than to run the risk...
I'm even more sad to realize that perhaps it is a good thing that it will be incredibly difficult for me to have children. Because I can see the dysfunctional behavior patterns in me and have not had great success in stopping them. Better not to have children than to run the risk...
Monday, March 12, 2012
Getting Used To It
In the beginning, I fought it. I tried to resist. But I've grown tired. And I don't see the point of fighting it anymore.
I'm getting used to the soul-numbing monotony. The endless parade of days that are the same. Except for a day every 2-3 weeks, everything is the same.
I'm getting used to the soul-crushing loneliness. The waking hours where I will not speak to any one or even be acknowledged. Sometimes, I wonder if I exist. Maybe I'm just imagining things. Maybe it's all a horrible nightmare. My life has become a series of brief, superficial encounters with strangers.
I'm so horridly weary of everything. I'm not so sure I see the point of all this anymore.
Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Where am I going?
I've been told I need to change my life. Hmm. indeed. Perhaps I ought to. But why? What difference will it make? Maybe I already know I need to make changes, but haven't the foggiest notion of how or what.
All I know is that it wasn't supposed to be like this.
I'm getting used to the soul-numbing monotony. The endless parade of days that are the same. Except for a day every 2-3 weeks, everything is the same.
I'm getting used to the soul-crushing loneliness. The waking hours where I will not speak to any one or even be acknowledged. Sometimes, I wonder if I exist. Maybe I'm just imagining things. Maybe it's all a horrible nightmare. My life has become a series of brief, superficial encounters with strangers.
I'm so horridly weary of everything. I'm not so sure I see the point of all this anymore.
Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Where am I going?
I've been told I need to change my life. Hmm. indeed. Perhaps I ought to. But why? What difference will it make? Maybe I already know I need to make changes, but haven't the foggiest notion of how or what.
All I know is that it wasn't supposed to be like this.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
was having
... a bad day...but a friend came by and gave me a hug. I feel all better.
Which is strange...because up until this friend came along I didn't like being hugged. Actually, I still don't like being hugged. Except by this friend. This friend is the only person allowed to hug me. :)
So here some hug quotes:
Every time I think of you, it is like getting a hug from the inside out. ~Author Unknown
Your hugs are like the stars that light up my life when things get dark. ~Author Unknown
Which is strange...because up until this friend came along I didn't like being hugged. Actually, I still don't like being hugged. Except by this friend. This friend is the only person allowed to hug me. :)
So here some hug quotes:
Every time I think of you, it is like getting a hug from the inside out. ~Author Unknown
Your hugs are like the stars that light up my life when things get dark. ~Author Unknown
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Clearly
...I need to stop drinking. Drinking alcohol that is.
I've already stopped drinking by myself. Usually when I drink with other people, I get the giggles. When I drink by myself, I just start crying.
I've also noticed that if I sober up by myself, I start crying too.
Guess that means I'll have to stop drinking. Dunno what I'll do with the 10 bottles of wine I have.
I've already stopped drinking by myself. Usually when I drink with other people, I get the giggles. When I drink by myself, I just start crying.
I've also noticed that if I sober up by myself, I start crying too.
Guess that means I'll have to stop drinking. Dunno what I'll do with the 10 bottles of wine I have.
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